"Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole"

Poetry is no place for a heart that's a whore
And I'm young & I'm strong
But I feel old & tired
Overfired

And I've been poked & stoked
It's all smoke, there's no more fire
Only desire
For you, whoever you are
For you, whoever you are

You say my time here has been some sort of joke
That I've been messing around
Some sort of incubating period
For when I really come around
I'm cracking up
And you have no idea

No idea how it feels to be on your own
In your own home
with the fucking phone
And the mother of gloom
In your bedroom
Standing over your head
With her hand in your head
With her hand in your head

I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
When all I wanted was to be good
To do everything in truth
To do everything in truth

Oh I wish I wish I wish I was born a man
So I could learn how to stand up for myself
Like those guys with guitars
I've been watching in bars
Who've been stamping their feet to a different beat
To a different beat
To a different beat

I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
When all I wanted was to be good
To do everything in truth
To do everything in truth

You bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody...

I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
For you, whoever you are
For you, whoever you are
For you, whoever you are

när jag vaknade imorse så är jag ännu mer förvirrad nu.

Den här kvällen har löst många frågor och jag kan dra en lättnadens suck gällande ett problem. Vilket känns helt fantastiskt. Men den har även frambringat fler frågetecken.

Jag är förbannad på en jävligt feg person, jag är glad över den person som visat sig vara en större person än jag trodde, och en person som jag håller nära har skapat förvirring. Och nej jag tänker inte gå in på detaljer. Jag måste helt enkelt släppa det som tynger mig och fokusera på det som är viktigt.

Men inte glömma bort mig och sätta andra före.

  Dra åt helvete!

 Jag tog en fika innan jobbet med Emma. Skönt att få träffa nån innan man ska gå och jobba.

Och när man har en skit dag och komemr till sitt favvo fik och får en sån fin latté som Helena gjorde till mig kan man inte låta bli att dra på smilbanden.

Det är dom små små detaljerna som gör det!

Nu ska jag försöka tänka på att det finns folk som bryr sig och tycker om mig precis som jag är och uppskatta det om det än bara är för idag!

Så tack alla mina vänner för att ni finns. Och alla andra som bara gör ens dag värd.

Why aren't I one of these interesting people
Who's always got something to say?
To not be contrived and to feel so alive
And to never have wasted a day
To go for long walks and have well-informed talks
In an unconfrontational way
Why aren't I one of these interesting people
And why won't you stay?

I'm still having the same conversation
I've been having for years
I just want to read and retain information
Just face up to my fears
I look at myself and it's so plain to see
All I need is to change
Not too much, I still want to be me
Everyone looks the same

"Why" is my phone full of so many numbers
And why doesn't anyone call?
Maybe they think I'm always too busy
Or maybe I've no friends at all
When I'm watching tv they're all out necking Es
And well obviously I'm appalled
Why is my phone full of so many numbers
And why don't you call?

I'm still having the same conversation
I've been having for years
I just want to read and retain information
Just face up to my fears
I look at myself and it's so plain to see
All I need is to change
Not too much, I still want to be me
Everyone looks the same

I'm still having the same conversation
I've been having for years
I just want to read and retain information
Just face up to my fears
I look at myself and it's so plain to see
All I need is to change
Not too much, I still want to be me
Everyone looks the same

Japp det har slagit full tilt i mitt huvud. Jag fattar ingenting. Och jag tar inte det.

Jag får fan krupp på folk ibland.

Ja ja bäst att klä sig inför dagens arbetspass.

Mm det är jag. Allt vad det manliga släktet heter är bara skit.

Och ja jag tänker klaga igen, och ja jag vet att jag gör det ofta. Och ja jag blir lätt sur.

Och nu är jag bara så less. Jag ger upp, kapitulerar, kastar in handduken.

Trouble
Been doggin' my soul since the day I was born
Worry
Just will not seem to leave my mind alone
Well I've been saved by a woman
I've been saved by a woman
I've been saved by a woman
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now

Trouble
Feels like every time I get back on my feet
She come around and knock me down again
Worry
Sometimes I swear it feels like this worry is my only friend
Well I've been saved by a woman
I've been saved by a woman
I've been saved by a woman
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now

She good to me now
She gave me love and affection
She good to me now
She gave me love and affection
I said I love her
She's good to me
She's good to me